Some more mini stories

##A lady was expecting the plumber; he was supposed to come at ten o'clock. Ten o'clock came and went; no plumber; eleven o'clock, twelve o'clock, one o'clock; no plumber. She concluded he wasn't coming, and went out to do some errands. While she was out, the plumber arrived. He knocked on the door; the lady's parrot, who was at home in a cage by the door, said, "Who is it? "He replied, "It's the plumber. "He thought it was the lady who'd said, "Who is it? " and waited for her to come and let him in. When this didn't happen he knocked again, and again the parrot said, "Who is it? "He said, "It's the plumber! "He waited, and again the lady didn't come to let him in. He knocked again, and again the parrot said, "Who is it? "He said, "It's the plumber!!!!!!!! "Again he waited; again she didn't come; again he knocked; again the parrot said, "Who is it? "; "Aarrrrrrgggggghhhhhhh!!! " he said, flying into a rage; he pushed the door in and ripped it off its hinges. He suffered a heart attack and he fell dead in the doorway. The lady came home from her errands, only to see the door ripped off its hinges and a corpse lying in the doorway, "A dead body! " she exclaimed, "Who is it?! "The parrot said, "It's the plumber. "

##A man goes into a bar with his dog. He goes up to the bar and asks for a drink. The bartender says "You can't bring that dog in here! " The guy, without missing a beat, says "This is my seeing-eye dog. " "Oh man, " the bartender says, "I'm sorry, here, the first one's on me. " The man takes his drink and goes to a table near the door. Another guy walks into the bar with a Chihuahua. The first guys sees him, stops him and says "You can't bring that dog in here unless you tell him it's a seeing-eye dog. " The second man graciously thanks the first man and continues to the bar. He asks for a drink. The bartender says "Hey, you can't bring that dog in here! "The second man replies "This is my seeing-eye dog. " The bartender says, "No, I don't think so. They do not have Chihuahuas as seeing-eye dogs. " The man pauses for a half-second and replies "What?!?! They gave me a Chihuahua?!? "

##A man takes his hamster to the vet, and after a short look at the creature the vet pronounces it dead. Not happy with the vet's diagnosis the man asks for a second opinion.

The vet gives a whistle and in strolls a Labrador dog. The dog nudges the hamster around with its nose and sniffs it a couple of times before shaking his head. "There " says the vet," Your hamster is dead ". Still not happy the man asks for a third opinion. The vet opens the back door and in bounds a cat. The cat jumps onto the table and looks the hamster up and down for a few minutes before looking up and shaking it's head.

"It's definitely dead sir ", says the vet.

Convinced, the man enquires how much he owes. "That will be L1000, please ". "A L1000 just to tell me my hamster is dead " fumes the man.

"Well ", says the vet,

"There's my diagnosis, the lab report and the cat scan "."

##A man was on holiday in the depths of Louisiana, where he tried to buy some Alligator shoes. However he was not prepared to pay the high prices, and after having failed to haggle the vendor down to a reasonable price level, ended up shouting "I don't give two hoots for your shoes man, I'll go and kill my own "croc!," to which the shopkeeper replied, "by all means, just watch out for those two "ole boys " who are doing the same! ". So the man went out into the Bayou, and after a while saw two men with spears, standing still in the water. 'They must be the 'ole boys' he thought. Just at that point he noticed an alligator moving in the water towards one of them. The guy stood completely passive, even as the gator came ever closer. Just as the beast was about to swallow the him, he struck home with his spear and wrestled the gator up onto the beach, where several already laying Together the two guys threw the gator onto its back, where-upon one exclaimed "Darn! This one doesn't have any shoes either! "."

##A man went to visit a friend and was amazed to find him playing chess with his dog. He watched the game in astonishment for a while. "I can hardly believe my eyes! " he exclaimed. "That's the smartest dog I've ever seen. "

"Nah, he's not so smart," the friend replied. "I've beaten him three games out of five. "